Admiration but I do not place her on a pedestal. No, I do not and never will for I know that she is not the mortal goddess that many claim her to be. Most assuredly she is not and it is because I do know the very mortal parts of her. Plus, when a person is placed on a pedestal it hurts when they fall off it. But yes, I admire her and always will.
Who do I admire? This is your query. The answer is - my friend Bethany Ann. She is potent, powerful, passion and pleasure incarnate within a personality.
During the late autumn of 2008 there arrived a 'life changing' conversation between her and I. It is life changing for her. It took place via texting with the use of emails. It existed when she returned to Canada from being overseas in Europe. She needed to know of me along with wanting some information on a few mutual friends. Her arrival back home to her home base of Ottawa existed as not new thus this type of thing is not new. Her extended business trips for the international company that she privately works for normally causes her to seek out her closest friends to catch up on life. Most of us do this in life after being away from home for a prolonged period of time. My friend is no different. Thus, we chatted having her ask me if I thought that her best friend, Jennifer Santos, seemed to be acting differently. My reply came as, "Jenn seemed her regular but that I noticed that Jenn`s online presence increased several hundred fold."
"Hm", she said to me. "Yes, everyone here says that she is becoming a hermit. She no longer goes to any art shows. Jenn is not attending the NAC for music either and most of her social calendar events are being cancelled." Bethany then paused with waiting for me to reply, but I did not. Thus, she continued with her sharing. "Jenn got bad news two months ago. News that she won`t be cured of the Cancer. No hope."
Reading that news created one of the hardest, most Earth-shattering moments in my life. To say that I cried is an understatement in every degree. It is for Jennifer Santos may not be my biological daughter, but she is my daughter too. Both of these women 'sort of' are my children. They are for they both long ago needed a female of strength and love to guide their young lives. I took that challenge and I do it with a love that is profoundly motherly. So yes, tears streamed from me until everything is a blurred on the computer screen. Yet, there needed to be a reply. There did need to be a response of some sort due to the reality of sitting in cyberspace waiting for replies can be an irritation. Thus, I summoned all of my inner strength to hold back the dealing with losing someone that I truly love. I did it because I know that Bethany loves Jennifer more than anyone ever has or will. Thus, there exist the desire to protect Bethany and it came full throttle. It arrived with me then sharing, "Pandora`s Box always has hope. You must have faith. Have faith and the universe may surprise us all."
That telling of having hope is to provide a path for love to work a miracle. Love is so important in our story. It is and I am about to tell you of a love unequalled in all of time and space. I am about to share a love story that is epic in all its wonders. There is to be the true tale of a woman that is so in love and so dedicated to a woman that it should move the universe to cure a disease. Cure it just so that these two could have the chance to bind together forever in this mortal lifetime. Then when I am sure that the love story is told, as best as it can be told, then I am going to bring the chaos that now consume a woman. There is to be brought a darkness and pain that not even a mortal goddess could handle, but she does. Yes, I do say that she is not a goddess; she is mortal, but some say that she is a goddess. I say that she is those, but she is really only Bethany Ann.
"Your Pandora is full of shit, Windy! Shit with myths and mayhem doing us no good!" Came within frustrated anger from Bethany who is usually a calm and playful personality when being social. But with that statement it is easily known that the power of the devastating news seeped in so deeply that it rocks Bethany`s world to its very core. "Mine! She is to be mine. My soulmate, my love and I have waited. Mine!"
Without a doubt, I know that she cried with no containment of emotions. I know it for it existed so easily in her words, in words that very rarely ever do become rattled. But those words on the computer screen held rage, frustration and soul pain. And all of it is very understandable.
It is for it is truthful that Bethany waited to be with Jennifer. Oh yes, she did. This is due to that at a young age the two met with Bethany finding it to be love at first sight. This is the truth even if Jennifer didn't feel the same at first. Therefore, it is a soul surrendered, a heart bound to another heart without permission to bind and a life dedicated to another female. Dedicated to a female that teenaged Bethany barely knew, but instantly Beth gave herself completely to Jennifer.
Understanding the fact of Bethany surrendering herself is important to this love story. It is for it has Bethany passionately believing she did it because of love and from that Jennifer is hers and vice versa. This idea is beyond important in our story. It is significant due to a barely teenaged mind never having received untainted love, but she thinks she that finds true love in Jennifer Santos. In fact, she seemed to know that day what love truly is, true love and pure love.
Why do I say, untainted love? I say untainted because Bethany only ever truly experienced real love via a distant grandparent`s affection. Yet, she most definitely understands what love truly can be and seems to know it as a teenager. It seemed that young Bethany grasped the concepts of love even through the deeds of great evil are being done to her and that leaves me admiring her even more. It is easy to admire her for understanding such a concept in life for most people today do not truly understand loving. Yet, Bethany naturally has that gift and can supply it without limits. And that day long ago her heart recognized love and it assuredly also felt the beginning of its deepest pains. Deep pains and those too come without limits too.
"We belong together." Came, as a firm declaration in words on the screen "Not fair that she is dying. Not fair that she leaves me. I am not okay in life. My life is hers. I am hers and she hasn't taken me, hers ..hers, and we belong together. No dying before I am hers."
"Then take her!” I replied, “Beth go take her to make her yours. Tell her that you love her more than as best friends and as more than as a sex mate, don`t wait any longer to date her. Be you; be this woman who takes what she wants. You do that sort of thing with everything else in your life, but you do not do it with her. Take what you need with demanding Jennifer to be only yours."
It is for certain that there existed a silence; a deafening silence between us. And when it ended her reply didn't shock me at all as she shared it. "I guess that is part of Pandora`s Box. Happiness and hope."
"Yes, it is! And being together is good for you both. Doing that is good for you both. So save her from being a hermit and give her some tomorrows to enjoy. Love each other and be happy. There are no two people who deserve it more." I said this with trying to summon what little wisdom that I possess.
"You need spankings, Windy. I love you. Thank you." That flashed on the screen with it bringing a smile to me as my mind ring with, 'We belong together.'