Loneliness exists because the perfect set up of a date left her hanging alone with two full bottles of expensive Australian wine. One sat opened with it tempting the birthday girl into enjoying it. Such circumstances bring the tipsiness after drinking most of the eighteen percent alcoholic wine all by herself. She then conveniently retrieved the unopened bottle of wine to take it home. Thus, as the steel door of the house comes secured Ry saunters into the kitchen with the unopened bottle.
Entering the modern space she flicks the light on to immediately hear the house phone ringing. She grins at it because she figures that Orianna has changed her mind. So within that thought, Ry reaches for the cordless phone that sets on the island counter that abides in mid center of the kitchen. As she does the kitchen seems to spin a little as her eyes gaze upon the side table with two chairs. “Woohoo, too much.” comes spoken within the dizziness as she attempts to refocus.
In doing so she ponders food as the phone is clicked on for the table set here in the kitchen reminds her of food and she knows that eating will help with the tipsiness. Yet, she pulls in her focus as the phone is coming to her left ear. Then in a semi disorientated state, Ry gathers her stability and alertness to growl out, “Eleven thirty, PM. It is late, who is it?”
“Ry, please talk to me!“ Directly begs Payton.
That gives the deepest exhaustive sigh of’ ‘my god, no’ slipping from within Ryanne. She now knows she is stupid with not letting the voicemail field the call so that Payton isn’t a factor to deal with tonight. So, it`s horror for Ry. It`s the concept of ‘god damn’ cursing out repeatedly in her thoughts and then suddenly the vision of her father saying ‘deal with her, deal with it Ryanne or I will.’ So, Ry ponders quickly and just listens to whatever that is coming from Payton as Ry begins walking toward the staircase to the second floor and the master bedroom.
“I love you. Why does that scare you? Come be mine. Only mine. Stop running. Running only hurts us both, you know that you belong to me and we have love. We can deal with our daddies and the media. I want only you. Please, Ry?” Comes in whining plea that is harsher than living through Hell for Ry.
Ry knows Payton`s love exists as a partial obsession on Payton’s part. Ryanne distinguishes that an extended relationship won`t work between them for Ry herself doesn’t love Payton. This leaves a decision to be made and that begins with the topic of love. A topic that is almost a disease to be avoided but Ry pulls her cognitive senses together to attempt providing logical reasoning to Payton while Ry pushes off the fuzzy tipsiness.
“Now, hush and listen to me.” Commands Ryanne as Payton starts to say more but the French brunette instantly stopped as Ry spoke.
“Now Payton, have I ever said that I honestly love you? Did I say it outside you forcing me to say it a week ago? Did I ever say it in all the months that we have fucked each other?” Arrives in collected almost ice-tinted edges of needing to set out boundaries in order to avoid topics but hit those topics in the ways that Ry chooses to enjoy them.
”Ponder it carefully, my Lil French connection. Think before you reply, it’s the big question of the night.” All of this is said as Ry wanders from the kitchen with a corkscrew, the bottle of wine and one glass. Hence, she passes through the living room too soon be stepping on the bottom step that leads up to the second floor of the modern house.
‘”Uhm, no. No, I can’t say that you ever have verbally but when you kiss me we have love. I know that we do. When you touch me, I feel loved. I need you, Ry. I can`t breathe without you. I just need what we have. I will share you with others, but you must visit and be with me too.” Payton claims in a well-organized proceeding into the direction that Payton plans for them.
Thus, as Ry moves up a couple of steps she figures that progress exists when considering that moments ago came to a declaration of ‘only mine’ as concepts. So, hope must abide, a hope of Payton eventually not be driving anyone crazy over losing Ryanne. Thus, with another deep sigh Ryanne continues the journey up the stairs as she pushes her agenda into the chat, “Payton, does it take two to make a relationship work?”
“Yes, my darling. Yes, we do very well at it too. But, I understand that you need to be with other girls too. And it is now okay with me.” Sweetly replies Payton of new rules for them while she feels that Ry loves her.
“Ah, uhm.” Ponders Ryanne as her mind sorts out next steps for it must come gently now that things won`t relent into the dream of it being easy. Not easy at all. Yet, instead, it is becoming a living Hell for many people. ”Darling….”
“Yes, darling?” quickly responds Payton who rests on an edge of anticipation of Ryanne giving into the demands of being together again.
In fact, Payton is deeply anxious about Ryanne to come home to her in France. To Payton`s home for many reasons, with the most important of these the sex that the two women constantly share but she also does love Ryanne. Payton furthermore needs to be loved by someone who is magically cool like Ryanne because it fits Payton`s lifestyle. Even more so, Payton knows Ry adds that calmness to a high-speed social life while somehow giving Payton that ability to deal with daddy St Croix. Hence, Payton can manage her father`s insistence on committing to an arranged marriage to some man named Taylor.
And Ry understands all of that too as she once more provides a process for Payton to understand what comes as their future, a future as Ry leans against the upper hallway wall. “Payton, doesn’t it take love from both partners in an intimate relationship to have a healthy relationship?”
“Ry, don`t!” Swiftly comes as Payton expects this resistance. She does for she may be obsessed of Ry, but Payton sure clues in fast to the processes that Ry attempts to bring.
“Don’t what?” Warmly queries Ryanne not understanding what sparks the current response for there should not be upset just yet, the protesting is early.
“Please, please be mine. Please, Ry, please, my darling, my lover, and my...uhm, mine. Just be mine. Come home.” Arrives sounding in an unreasonable desperation when considering nothing generated the creation of it. Yet, fear and loneliness are amazing factors in the world of intimacy.
“Payton! Please, answer me.” Ry firmly demands in trying to bring peacefulness and proper direction. “You know that you must always answer my questions. It is the deal between us.” Hence, Ryanne waits for a response but she gets mumbling of what she assumes to be a positive understanding and so she continues, “Does it take two people in love to have an intimate love relationship?”
There exists silence, it abides in stinging impatience but Ry waits. She must for Payton takes many seconds to think over the rewording of Ry`s query. Within that Payton reasons that she already answered the question. Yet, she also knows that she needs to response this time too. Therefore Payton re-words her response to suit her own agenda. ”Yes, it does and we have much love between us.”
“Do we?” Queries Ry in surprise conscious of the facts that such isn’t the complete truth.
“Yes, I love you. I love you more every day and need you too. I love everything about us, about you and all that we do.” Arrives as happy assertion in a fluffy love tone that is dreamy sweet.
‘That isn’t a ‘we’ that loves each other, Payton. That is you and you love me.” Affirms Ryanne trying to keep it gentle and on the straightest path to what must be the agenda.
“But you love me. Your kisses say that you do and when you make love to me it is love. I can feel it when I kiss you.” Shoots forth from Payton in an adamant declaring of what she thinks is the truth of their history.
“Are you sure?” comes sharply said by Ry who continues on in sharing more questions. “Are you sure or are we simply great at sex?” Then in trying to make it a slow stepping into the reality that everything truly is over Ry brings what she recognizes as a big part of the truth. “You are extraordinary in the sack, Payton. The best fuck that I have ever had. You are one hot, sexual wild thing in bed, babe. That alone can make it seem like love is everywhere. You are amazing like that and anyone will feel loved by you. You make it love, lust, and wild things. It will always be that way for you too.“
That provides a long silence between them for the truthful flattery comes unexpectedly. Hence, shock, as Payton needs to rally thoughts in concern to her cause. She must move into what she needs even though awareness exists about her personal inner power. “Thank you, Ryanne but you love me too. You do and the sex that we have shows that we do.”
“Ah, but you said earlier that I have never told you that I love you. So, the sex and love, the greatness of what we had are all you. See, you are totally amazing and a woman who deserves that same thing from her lover.” Spins out in charismatic slickness.
This mixes well with Ry`s forever cool charm to allow Ry to push away from the leaning against the wall so she continues toward the bedroom. She casually strolls the hall to be at the far end where her bedroom exists. Within this Payton rambles on about how sweet Ry is even though Payton claims Ry loves her. Then with Ry standing just inches outside crossing the doorway to the bedroom Payton finally takes a short breath as Ry walks over to the highboy dresser that sits just inside the door of the master bedroom. With a sigh, Ry places the bottle of alcohol and other items on the top of it to then turn toward the bed. After which Ry remove her clothing while listening to the phone that is clenched between her shoulder and ear. But within all the effort she only gets the long coat and the lingerie top off before Payton`s ramblings come to a temporary halt. Hence there exists a minute of silence Payton before there comes heard, “Ry, please, please just let me try. Please, let me try to please you again?”
“Listen, sexy, if you want to please me then let me undress. Then you talk dirty to me for a while and I will masturbate before falling asleep in this bed of mine.” Arrives, as the cheeky reply tinged of frustration for Ry truly didn't need this lecture and begging on her special day.
“You love me, Ryanne. And I will dirty talk if you return to being my girlfriend.” Oh yes, a threat, a begging or a ‘whatever’ sting to roam within Ry’s mind. Thus, she breathes a sigh with still needing to deal with Payton`s demands of continued relationships between them. And that seems to exist no matter what comes spoken or attempted.
“We already concluded that I do not love you and you provide the love in any relationship. You do for I never said that I love you.” With that said by Ryanne, there exists an immediate scream summoning from Payton for she doesn’t hold frustration well. The vast amounts of irritation dissuade the keeping to her agenda because of Ry continuously telling truth about their relationship history.
“But we have a relationship. We do!” Payton firmly shoots as a reply.
“No, we do not! Romance relationships need two people loving each other and Payton I don’t love you. I have never said it to you with your forcing me to and I won`t be saying it.” With that Ry now understands why instinct told her to run for her life the other morning. It now is obvious that an argument during that morning most certainly could outdo this one by several light-years on the scale of wild discussions.
“Just try again with me!” arrives in a screaming desperation into Ryanne`s ears in a whining plea.
“No! No! It takes two people in love to make a healthy relationship. Does it not it take that, Payton?” Demandingly supplies Ry in maintaining sanity within the tipsiness that seems to be clearing and that fact brings the wish for more wine.
“It takes you fucking me, and you holding me, and you letting me deal with the love things.” Sends back Payton in a sharp irritation of not getting her way. She always gets her way. She does for Ms. St Croix exists as a renowned pampered socialite with a terrible temper that often has daddy St Croix’s immense wealth and powerful connections help her do all that is wishes. Hence, the cruel shot immediately comes fired at Ry. “I will make daddy bring you to me. So, no more fucked up nonsense. You are mine.”
That is Payton`s trump card when things get crazy for the French socialite. And with that being said provides all that Ryanne needs in order to bring harsher truths. Therefore, no more gentleness with the charm swiftly tossing aside and Ryanne decides a bit of madness can be useful, but it is all wrapping in a calm of sharing the realities of what can be future for them both.
“Bring it! But the bottom line is if you do not stop then my father meets your father. If you don`t stop calling my family and harassing my workplace then this shit gets extra real damn fast. So sexy, do you want Lee Masterson meeting Sydney St Croix with your father ruining my father`s architectural accounts in Europe and South America. Along with that, I will be punished with that sending my life into chaos. My father won`t be kind to me with my career destroyed. Thus, the cool magic about me vanishes. And then you have a loser with you. That reality of my father dying comes soon after he loses his business empire. The destruction of the family firm brings my father`s death and somewhere along that line of crazy shit your father forces you into a marriage to that douche bag named Taylor. You will have a kid no matter what you want. All of that exists due to your father needing an heir of his choosing as his daughter lives a hetero lifestyle. This all happens as I am forever working at Mickey D`s. Yes, the land of French Fried potatoes so that I can subsist in a one-room hole of an apartment in the middle of Hell`s Kitchen, Iowa.”
Instant quietness comes from Payton for she knows that Ryanne made and makes no promises to her. There never came any at any point. Add to it the truth of no love from Ry enters into being realized as Payton then sighs of comprehending everything. This allows her to accept that the feelings between them are one-sided. That accompanies her desire to not destroy others lives. This rings inside of her like an epiphany.
Ryanne, on the other hand, is skimming over what else needs to be said and it comes just in time. “You want to have children but rather not do it daddy`s way. You rebel whenever he pushes you into his controlling of you. You rebel for you desire to choose your own life.”
Payton hears that with that truth weaving into her while all her other plans seducing Ryanne shatter bringing a sadness to her senses. “Is it that written on me? I don`t want a man but I want my own life. I am lesbian and not a womb.” She softly claims in relenting to not being with Ry ever again.
Ryanne hesitates a moment to think through such ideas before confidently replying with, “From day one and you may want to look into fighting Sydney to get what you truly need. Not sure about you being lesbian but maybe bisexual. Either way, if you don’t` want guys then so be it. But, if you do go for a guy then you don`t need Taylor. He is a ‘know it all’ asshole with a weak no kink dick. ” Ry claims while thinking back to overhearing women talk of Taylor`s basic ‘man on top’ vanilla sex demands. That thought promotes Ry to continue chat with sharing. “Listen, darling, visits to see you can happen but we are gonna find you a man worthy of you naughty kinky ass. It must be a guy that allows you to fuck women too. However, in all of that, there is only sex between you and me. But you must marry a dick of your choice to have a happy family. Understood?”
“But Ryanne, I love you.” comes in last attempts to acquire love from Ryanne but that is following with. “What am I to do with that?”
“Spank my naughty ass with making lust marks all over me. We are two women with a cause. Rebellion`s cause and you are needing to spank your share of rebelling against me and out of you.” Ry states with not knowing what to say, but something needs to be said and well sex topics tend to change the flow of things. Thus, it is onto that topic with a hope of hope of Ryanne crashing on her bed with a full bottle of wine and eventually five hours of sleep to finish her birthday.
“Ry, no what do I do with loving you?” Comes as a protest over the move to a new topic.
Ry sighs deeply of the displeasure of remaining on an issue that needs not addressing further. Thus she tries to figure out a way to settle the topic of love but all she comes up with is ‘how can she love me’. And so that comes out ‘How can you love me?”
“Because I do, I simply do love you. You are amazing and I love everything about you.”
“Ah, uhm, oh. So, you know me and love everything about me, okay.” Affirms Ryanne as she now comprehends that she can get somewhere with this break in the pattern of chat. In all honesty, Payton barely grasps anything of Ryanne`s world and life. For in reality Payton only knows the choice bits of a selection of truths. Thus, Ry`s thoughts fill with, ‘why not bring illumination’. Within that idea there comes the hope that Payton apprehends that she loves only a corner of Ryanne with love not possible when knowing so little. “Ah, and when is my birthday? You know that birthdays are special and tell a lot about a person. When is my birthday?”
There is a short stinging silence just before Payton responds with an offhanded, “It is in the spring. You always tell me you have a party in April and a new year passes for you. You have a birthday then and it`s why when you visited me back then and I took you out for cake.”
“Uhm, yes you did that in April. A year does end then for me with sort of a new year starting, but it`s not my birthday or personal. It is an end of the business budget year of the architectural firm. Thus, I celebrate ending a year of bookkeeping. Then afterward I always take a vacation for two weeks. So now, it is not my birthday.” Ryanne states through smiles for she knows Payton isn’t privy to many things. “You may have one more guess and then tell me who my siblings are?’
“You have siblings?” comes in shock. “You have more than your father?”
“Yes, I do, and you haven’t a clue whom they are. You also don’t know how many there are or know anything about them. Why? Because you figure the people that I talk are friends or business comrades. But no, not all are. Domi is my only brother. Terri is not only my boss but is my only sister. They are more than business associates. Yes, I know that you have been thinking that they are only working relationships.” With that, the wine bottle is possessed by her left hand. Next, Ryanne crawls onto the bed with taking a quickie sip from the bottle before continuing with, “So, sexy, my birthday is when? “
Along silent pauses exists with Payton as she is sorting out this idea of Ryanne being a family person. It soon brings a swiftly firm reply of “There is no way you have a family more than a father. There is just no way since you don’t say of family things.” Exist as the running of thoughts. In fact, Payton swears that she knows Ry doesn’t do family events, especially not father`s and mother`s days. So, she finalizes thoughts with, “You are lying to me to confuse the topic.”
Yet, that is met with a laugh and then silence before snickering by Ry sends out. ”Nope, it is true. And you have known me for two years. It is two years when we add in the fact of us being more than fuck friends.“
“You are lying to me, Ry. I know that you are.” Comes sternly within trying to fathom that she does not know these things about her own girlfriend.
This gives Ryanne more snickering as she tips up the bottle to take a large gulping swallow of wine before saying, “Two siblings, with the father being single and mother...”She hesitates for that is never said. No, it just isn’t.
“You have a mother. I know that you do, for you always say I should love my mother.” Arrives in affirmation of Payton now doing a fast pace of collecting information so that she can say that she knows Ryanne and can then declare that she loves all of Ry.
Ryanne instantly is dead still while staring at the open doorway of her bedroom. She breathes deeply and her mind swims of personal history flashes of her mother but she pushes it back into obscurity so that anything about it cannot ever be uncaging. That has her tipping the alcohol bottle up to create swallowing several gulps of liquid.She now needs to be numb but within this Payton declares, “You have a full family. You should let me meet them. They will love me and us. Your parents; your mother and father will think we are so good.”
Ry`s complexion grows to a near deathly white over such concepts. The pain shoots within her soul as once more the mother is a topic being wielded by a woman that Ry beds. And nope it isn’t okay. Not okay even and not all right as a casual anything. In fact, there simply is a turn off the switch when it’s like this. Switching off painful thoughts on her birthday must now exist as those come harsh on this night. However, she says nothing as her mind works on keeping out crazy visions of Payton with her family. Hence in her mind echoes, ideas of her parents are a no idea, No. No meeting family. So, with all her strength and a few more large swallows of alcohol Ry sternly retorts. ”Payton there no longer is a ‘we’ or an ‘us’. You can’t meet my family. My father wants to kill you if he gets to meet you. Add to it my siblings will torture us both because they know I don`t love any woman. Additionally, you have unsettled our lives with your constant phone calls and the mind-blowing quantity of endless emails. “
With such shared pseudo calmness arrives but it is barely that for Ry is deeply shaken. This exists even though Ry possesses loads of practice keeping everything tucked inside with the pretense of being an unemotional poised woman. The emotionless keeping her world of sex playmates and social life separate from family and work life. God knows that she doesn’t need anything unearthing to create troubles, but yes, it now has. Plus, according to her, the personal info belongs only her. The personal data only need to be known by family, Sheila, and Orianna.
In that thought, Payton tries once again to prove that she knows Ry. “But Ry, please? I admit that I didn’t know those things but I now know you.”
“No, you don’t truly know me. If you did you wouldn’t be torturing me on my birthday.” Shoots out in a sighing of trying to hold that constant calm as her mind spins of ‘Wish you would let me drink alone. Drink so that I get four hours of sleep. But at this rate that isn’t happening either.’
Boom! There it is. Finally, a minor unhinging of the cool, even if most of it is in Ryanne`s thoughts. The result sends out frustration murmurs as Ryanne casually lets the phone fall to the bed before taking to several more swallows of wine directly from the bottle. In doing so she hears Payton chattering even though no one is listening. Ry rolls her eyes into her head with sincerely not caring but she must tidy up this crap with Payton so her that father is happy. That has her once more reaching to collect the phone to hold it to her ear to then listen to the tail end of something with Payton say, ”You should love me and let me close to you. I can deal with family.”
There comes a profound inhaling from Ryanne as she then slowly releases it. She must find centering. Thus she embarks on insisting to own peace and balance to deal with what she must. Yes, that needs happening as she daydreams of being already passed out drunk but she isn’t that. So, it is one more try at repairing this shit with Payton or it is to be a ‘not so’ complex plan to commit murder in Paris during tomorrow. That amuses Ry`s mind for a moment. It does for committing a capital crime could be interesting but then her father would want her seeking the rights to any architectural shit involving prisons. That possibility still brings the results of her father demanding that she work at the ungodly hour of seven every morning. Which is easier than the current situation of waking at five to have breakfast with then doing the road warrior thing through heavy traffic. Thus, prison is doable but not truly necessary in her life. So another attempt is made at settling Payton`s tantrum. “Do I love you, Payton?”
“No Payton. Answer me.” Ryanne insists in demanding the truth be said by Payton. “Do I love you?”
“You said that you don’t. So no, I guess not.” Comes in annoyed disappointed whining with understanding things as everything now come to be basic between them.
“Does it take love between two to have a healthy relationship between two people?” Interrogates Ryanne hoping that this is getting through to her former lover at long last.
“Uhm, Ry please, please,” Payton says in pleading with not liking the chat that comes filled with the undeniable truth about the end of their relationship coming into full view.
“No, be a good girl for me and answer me.” Enforces Ryanne as she takes another sip of wine to make the numbing come faster. Then as the liquid fills her throat Ry`s ponders, ‘why on Earth do I get girls who need so much extra attention. Why can it not be great sex buddies for a while to then find new ports to enjoy?’
“Well Ry, it may but we are…”
“No. Answer me. Payton, you must only give the answers to my questions. So, does it take real love to keep a good relationship functioning long term?”
That questioning comes followed by Ryanne pulling a bed sheet over her body to get comfy. She wants to sleep for she is exhausted and that only a few hours remain for achieving some sleep. Yet, this chat is never-ending. Not ending and it must be dealt with before sleep and prior to tomorrow coming into existence.
“Yes, it does need love but we,” Payton stops to sigh for she has answers that she isn`t liking and she holds them back from being said with hoping that Ryanne stops with the truth to return to enjoying what they used to share.
“No. No, there is no reality of a ‘we’ any longer. You are correct that it takes love. Payton, I agree with you that it takes love. So since the love between us is one-sided with it not enough to keep a relationship between us then we need to move on in life.” In saying such Ryanne closes her eyes to then shoot them open for she almost dozed into sleep. That shocks her into forcing herself to sit up on the bed to then supply another drink of the wine to pour down her throat. “So, so, since I don’t love you, do you think that continuing with a relationship makes life healthy for either of us?”
“You are wonderful to me…” flies from Payton who refuses to hear anything about the relationship between being less than an amazing thing.
This immediately makes Ry shake her head to breathe then deeply in an exhaustive sigh. As Payton hears the frustrations she finally decides that she must give in. “Well, you are great to me and especially when it is sex.”
“It is a gift, darling. But it isn`t enough to have you happiest and you do deserve to be loved.” Asserts Ryanne with taking another swallow of the sweet alcohol with it all creating a nice effect of sleep coming. That may exist whether Ryanne wants it or not.
“So do you, Ry!” Payton states before then blowing a kiss through the phone while grimacing of losing the winning of Ry back to be her girlfriend.
“Uhm, that is not the topic.” Comes with verbally shrugging off the chat about herself while focusing on the task. ”It is you who is deserving love things. You deserve love. You should find it. So, since I don’t love you then you must go find someone who does. Okay?”
“Yes, but will we still have sex dates?” Queries Payton for her truly can`t fathom her life without being able to fuck Ryanne on a regular basis.
Ry smirks through the sleepiness to supply, “All that you can handle.”
Payton begins crying with saying things that neither understands due to the weeping. Yet, Ry listens while falling asleep with the last words heard being, “Ry, go to sleep. I will stop but visit me soon. I am horny. You must come fuck me.”